Hollywood actor Alec Baldwin has opened up about his battles with suicidal thoughts following the tragic ‘Rust’ shooting incident.
The 67-year-old star was holding a prop gun on set in October 2021 when it discharged, resulting in the death of cinematographer Halyna Hutchins and injuring director Joel Souza. Baldwin found himself embroiled in a legal fight, facing manslaughter charges connected to the incident. Though the charges were dismissed twice and the case has concluded, Baldwin shared that the stress led him to contemplate life without hope.
During an appearance on the podcast Dopey: On the Dark Comedy of Drug Addiction, Baldwin expressed, “When you get to that point where you go, ‘I don’t want to wake up another day, I’m gonna go’, I swear to God, I mean, to talk about it, and it’s really kind of unappealing to me because to talk about killing yourself and to actually kill yourself are two so profoundly distinctive things.”
He reflected on the commonality of such thoughts, stating, “I think a lot of people, I think countless people think about killing themselves and ending their life, and then very few do. And for me, I remember, I used to lay there in bed and go: ‘Oh God, I can’t wake up another day and have it be the same. It’s the same every day. And I can’t do it’. But somehow I found the faith in God to, you know, not kill myself tomorrow. Let’s wait one more day.”
Baldwin also shared his distress over the impact of the tragedy on his wife Hilaria and their children, believing it has “taken 10 years” off his life. He remarked, “The people I was most concerned about, the people that I had the deepest pain for, were my wife and my kids. Because my kids would see me sitting in a corner, you know, I couldn’t even move.”
He continued, “I don’t want to dwell on this. I just want to say that this was very painful for my wife and my family, my sisters and brothers, and so forth, my colleagues. And I can tell you, it broke every nerve in my body—spiritually, financially, work-wise, my career, my wife, my kids, my friends, my health. I mean, what it’s done to my health. If I told you what my health conditions have been since October 21, 2021, it’s taken 10 years off my life.”
This revelation comes after Baldwin’s wife Hilaria disclosed that he was diagnosed with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) following the shooting incident.